He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
This house was built for laser tag.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
