did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
