I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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