I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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