at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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