Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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