i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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