Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
