he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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