thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
