You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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