some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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