How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
