How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
