We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
