his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
