Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
is it fun? or sober?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
