How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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