I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
