proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
