no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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