I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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