Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
