Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
