my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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