Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
My Sexting was not on an AP level
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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