Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
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