she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
do nipples grow back?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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