I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
if only i could text you this smell
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
