CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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