talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
