I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
