He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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