Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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