I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
