You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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