It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
