You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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