i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
