Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
