Define "chronic" masturbator.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
