fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
