Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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