I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
