A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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