next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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