I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
