Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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