woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
