found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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