Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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